An Open Letter To The Lost Twenty Something

Hey there, 

I know. Our early 20s haven’t exactly been a piece of cake. But I’m proud of you for getting to this point. Whether you know it or not, you have conquered so much to be standing here today. You’ve cherished the good days and defeated the bad ones. Look at you go! 

We’re told that these are our best years. People are always reminiscing on their twenties, and sharing how much fun they were. They talk about their friends, their adventures, their best laughs, you name it.  In doing so, they end up putting more pressure on us. Sure, they toss in the occasional “oh yeah, I remember feeling lost too”, but no one ever talks about just how lonely it can really feel. We get so caught up in trying to make sure that these will be our best years, that sometimes living in the present gets lost in the shuffle leading to feelings about being alone.

Each of us accelerates through this period at a different speed, making us feel alone in our own experiences. Sure, I have my best friends and family that I talk to every day, but that doesn’t mean I won’t feel alone. God tends to put us through different seasons based on his plan for us, and these can look different for everyone. The hardest part is allowing yourself to see that there are people in your life ready to support you in those seasons. 

My early twenties were hard. There’s no denying that. I’ve been unsure in my career path, experiencing and processing grief, trying to build a savings, all while trying to learn what it’s like to be an adult. (Not to mention that I was launched into the world of adult life after college in good-ole May 2020). It was difficult to not feel alone in many of these moments. 

It seemed like many of my friends were settling into their careers, their relationships, and their lives in general, while I felt like I was playing pretend everyday. Turns out, they felt the same way. We all were putting on a facade in fear of looking like a failure, leaving us each feeling alone in our struggle. We feel this immense pressure to, if nothing else, make it seem like these are the best years of our life. This ultimately makes it feel like admitting we feel lost and lonely is admitting to failure.

Lesson learned: just talk to your friends! Most likely, they can sympathize with you. If not, good friends will support you. 

Our advice: check in with your friends. You might find that you are having similar experiences, feelings, and frustrations about where you are in life right now. It’s okay to acknowledge the so-called “ugly” moments of being a twenty something. That’s the reality of life and it’s not fair to hold yourself up to the impossible standards of proving these to be the “best years of your life”, (although, we hope they can be). 

And remember, as alone as you may feel in this crazy journey we call our twenties, remember there will always be someone out there feeling something similar to you and cheering you on. Hey, that’s why we created The Twenty Smthings anyway.