Let's Chat About Mental Health

For my regular readers, you know that last week I chose not to write a post as it would have felt forced and disingenuous. Although true, I left out a big part of why last week’s post was nonexistent. 

I recently have been looking to make a shift in my career, which has proven to be more difficult than anticipated. Having spent several years as a teacher, I’m used to having my summers off and not needing to worry about what’s next. Well, with summer coming to an end, I got lost in the hustle and bustle of trying to soak up the sun, being with friends, trying to find a job, and managing my current situation. All this is to say, I felt overwhelmed. So much so that I let my mental health slip over the edge. 

As someone who battles anxiety and depression, keeping busy vs. being overwhelmed is a fine line I walk daily. One small misstep can send me into the downward spiral of being overwhelmed and drained. While working with my calendar last week and listing out all of the things I needed to accomplish, I made a misstep on that fine line. Initiate downward spiral. 

In the past, I have written about ways to manage your self-care and to stay in tune with your mental state. As much as I practice what I preach, I also still have my moments and battles. Mental health is a juggling act, and even the most talented jugglers sometimes drop a ball. Practicing self care or working to give yourself grace is all in effort to avoid dropping a mental health ball, but we can’t plan and prepare for everything that comes our way. 

Allow me to explain: Last week I was having a wonderful time volunteering with my church, catching up with friends, going on little local adventures, and just enjoying life. Next thing I know, my brain is screaming about my new job and the changes that lie ahead. Enter the other abundance of worries that I had buried deep down in an attempt to avoid poking at my anxiety. Before I knew it, I was having a full-blown anxiety attack. If you’ve ever experienced an anxiety attack, you know it’s like being knocked to the ground after what feels like an endless chase. Breathing through my rush of emotions, I started to plan how I was going to get back on my feet. 

This is where self-care and grace stepped back in. I allowed myself to feel and process the event and my emotions. I treated myself with kindness the following day, but also held myself accountable to work towards lightening the load that caused the anxiety attack. I took it piece by piece until I felt I had accomplished what I could handle. I also took time to sit with and let go of the things that are out of my control. Slowly, but surely, I began to feel myself again. 

My goal with this week’s post is to share that self-care and self-love doesn't always mean you’re going to live a life of sunshine and rainbows. If we’re being cheesy here, you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain. Juggling your mental health can be a scary task. The fear of dropping a ball can be a challenge in and of itself. But, there is so much we learn about ourselves through our journey with mental health. Sure it shows you some of your darker fears, but it also shows you how resilient you are. In fact, I had my own realization through this: no matter how much it sucks, I always manage to fight my way through it. So here’s your sign that you can too.