Twenty Five Rules for Twenty Five

Here it is. The ever inevitable “quarter-life crisis”. The big TWO FIVE. The last “fun” birthday according to anyone 26 and up. 

But, here’s the thing: I refuse to let 25 be the year of “crisis”. Personally, I think I went through the crisis stage early. Hence why I decided I’m not going to let the typical “quarter-life crisis" invade this trip around the sun. Feeling the same way? Then I invite you to join me in working towards setting clear boundaries and expectations this year. 

At this point, you’ve taken the time to learn what it means to be in your 20s. You’ve felt the pressure to “be an adult”, and now you’re ready to live a life that benefits your goals. 

So let’s lay some ground rules as we embark on our 26th trip around the sun. 

1. Stop saying sorry

• Obviously apologize for your actual wrong doings. We’re girl bosses not brats. However, you need to stop apologizing for things you can’t control. You shouldn’t apologize out of fear that someone will be upset when you did nothing wrong. There are no excuses, and we are finished with apologizing for being alive. 

2. We’re saying yes to spontaneity

• Go to the concert. Make the plans. Who cares if it’s a Tuesday night? Your favorite band is in town? Go! 

• We only live this life once. You are only this young for a short period of time. You have a small time to make the decision, and a long time to regret that you didn’t. 

3. Skincare. Skincare. Skincare. 

• Girl, if we’re going to girl boss close to the sun then we need sunscreen. The extra minute it will take to actually use those skincare products in the morning and to wash it off at night will only benefit you. 

4. Social media that feels like you

• Sure, trends can be fun! But don’t let the next trend drive your social media. This is a place for you to express who you are online. Being authentically you is way cooler than being unauthentically trendy.  

5. Explore your interests

• Take the time to learn, try, and explore new things. Pick up cool little hobbies that you can drop as fun facts about yourself. Just think, in another 25 years, you’ll wish you could say you learned to do it. 

6. Stop with the “I’ll start ____”. 

• I can’t tell you how many times I said “I’ll start going to the gym next week” or “I’ll start reading again tomorrow” and then two months go by and I’m saying the same thing. Sure, it’s hard to change your habits but only you can make the choice to start them.  

7. Stand up for yourself

• We aren’t taking crap from people who think their behavior or words towards us are okay when they really aren’t. Someone said something out of pocket? Say something. Someone is making you uncomfortable? Be confident. They pushed your boundaries? Say. Something. 

• • P.s. other people’s behavior is neither your responsibility nor your fault. Please refer to rule #1.

8. Be generous

• Buy a stranger’s coffee. Hold the door for your coworker. Offer to help your neighbor. Helping others only makes our world a better place. You would rather be known as the helpful, kind version of you, not as someone who never offered. 

9. Give yourself some grace

• It’s brutal out there! You’re still learning. You’re still growing. Give yourself those little reminders that it’s okay to have hard days. It’s okay to not always know what to do. 

10. Be ambitious

• Dream big! Who said you can’t still have dreams at 25? You have a whole life ahead of you, fill it with ambition, adventure, memories. Dreams only grow with us. 

11. Take the photos

• Or the videos, whatever you love. Make the memories to keep forever. If you ever have the chance to watch your parents or the generations before us, notice how much joy they experience when finding old photos and memories. You’ll thank yourself later. 

12. Take the risks 

• How did we discover skydiving, roller coasters, sailing, flying? By taking a risk. Find the excitement in life! Considering a new career? Take the risk. Nervous to go on a date with the cute guy from the bar? Take the risk. (safely…..please!) 

13. It’s okay to say no 

• You don’t always have to say yes! There is such an overbearing weight that comes with trying to say yes to everything and everyone. Saying no can be scary, but you’ll be happy you did. Listen to your body. Listen to your mind. If you don’t want to then just say no! It doesn’t mean you may not have the opportunity later. 

14. Be present, not perfect

• Perfectionism is a recipe for burnout. We have to accept that life is a learning process, Ensuring that everything is perfect is simply impossible. Instead, strive to be present. Aware and attentive in the conversations, groups, situations that you are a part of. Be truly you instead of trying to be perfect. 

15. Eat the cake 

• Life’s short. If you want the cake, eat the cake. If someone looks at you sideways for eating the cake then that’s on them. Enjoy! 

16. Set a budget

    • Yes, having adult money can be fun. This is the first time that many of us have a steady income. Give yourself a budget that allows you to pay your bills, have fun, AND save up. 50 year-old you will thank you. 

17. Encourage growth 

• Again, life is a learning process. Take classes, learn from others, and use feedback. Growth can be uncomfortable, but so many great things can come from it. 

18. Cut out the toxicity 

• At this point, we are no longer entertaining the toxic things in our life. Work towards cutting out your vices. Say goodbye to that toxic friend who brings more frustration than joy. Shutdown toxic positivity and accept what you’re truly feeling. 

19. Work-life balance

    • As a teacher of several years, I understand this is hard. Sometimes your work day has to be long. On occasion you have to bring work home. However, it’s time to set boundaries for how much you are going to allow your work seep into the rest of your life. Is it imperative that it gets done tonight? If the answer is no, then it can wait until tomorrow. You should allow yourself to have a life outside of work. Let’s make work just part of our day, not our whole day. 

20. Be kind 

• Kindness goes a long way. Filling your heart with love and care for others will make life more enjoyable. Being filled with disdain is no way to live a full life. 

21. Challenge yourself

    • It’s important to keep life interesting, right? This year, challenge yourself. This could be challenging yourself to a new routine, learning a new hobby, or just getting outside more. Hold yourself accountable to that challenge - you’ll feel so accomplished when you’re done. 

22. Love your body

    • It does so much for you. Appreciate it for what it does. That also means giving yourself healthy foods and keeping active - physical health and mental health are both incredibly important, so invest in both this year. 

23. Set your boundaries, and respect them

    • Yes, several of these rules can fit under this one alone, but I think it’s important to specifically name it. You know yourself best, setting clear boundaries is a part of growing. Work-life balance means setting boundaries. Cutting out toxicity in your life means setting boundaries. However, this can also look like only having one drink on a night out because you don’t like how alcohol makes you feel. It could be not spending an insane amount of money just because others around you are. Giving yourself a budget is setting a boundary. But you also must respect your own boundaries: the guilt of breaking your own rules kind of sucks. 

24. Don’t accept being almost loved 

• Be loved fully. Be seen fully. Be heard fully. They love most of you? Nope. They almost always choose you? Nope. Time to accept and ensure that you find someone who will always love you, who will always choose you.

25. Choose yourself 

• At the end of the day, this life is yours. It belongs to you. You are responsible for choosing what’s right for you. Don’t worry, there's no wrong choices. There are only right and left choices that will take you down different paths, it’s up to which is best. 

Life is going to throw a million things at you that you never asked for. You will face trials. You will encounter failure and hardships. Setting rules can't exactly stop those things from happening. However, It does hold you accountable for your everyday life. It does prepare you for how to react when life does throw a lemon your way. Hold yourself accountable. But most of all, enjoy this year.